Anxiety Disorder

anxietycartoonnourlforweb450pxHello All,

I promise that I am working on the next installment of my story, The Nietzsche Files.  But, I wanted to share that I have been going through a weaning period off my medication.  Two years ago I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  It is a very real problem and many people in the world suffer from some variety of anxiety. And to be honest, this is one of the major reasons I’ve never done a public appearance to promote my books.  Whenever focus is on me in a large group, I shut down.  I also prefer to text with people rather than talk on the phone.  It takes me a long time to get up the courage to actually meet someone face to face, or talk to them on the phone.  Once I feel comfortable, then I can talk your ear off.

Unfortunately, the medication I take has a high addiction rate, even though I’m not taking a high dosage — Klonopin.   This particular benzodiazepine — street name “benzos” — has nasty side-effects.  This is also becoming a serious problem for people who take it as recreational drug.  It is quickly becoming a new form of heroin.   And, like heroin, it takes its toll on the body and some damage can become permanent.

When I started to notice side effects, I went to my doctor and we both decided that it was time to wean myself off of them  — more drugs was not an option for me.  You can’t just quit them cold turkey because there can be dire effects — seizures, sickness, severe depression and suicidal thoughts.  Luckily, the only effects I am suffering from are hand tremors, anxiety episodes and lack of energy.  I will be off the pills in 75 days.

So this has caused me to be erratic with my social media and interactions with people.   Some days I just lay on the couch and stare at nothing.  But as the days go by I’ve learned other coping mechanisms — breathing, meditation, cutting out things that incite anxiety.  I am finally getting to a place where I can deal with it.

But this post is not about my personal struggle, I say it as a warning to anyone else who falls into the clutches of this drug, or any of its many siblings.  While it allows one to function, it eventually will require more of your soul to continue to “help you cope”.  Unfortunately, there are people who have disorders far worse than me.  I know too many people who have been subjected to terrible things.  I know too many people with PTSD and they’ve either chosen to medicate with alcohol or with drugs such as the one I am leaving behind.  Some are so medicated, they can’t function daily.  I know people, despite the drugs, that still can’t overcome their anxiety.

Another aspect to consider is that we are constantly bombarded with commercials for drugs.  We are being taught that better living can only be achieved through chemistry.  We are even being told that its okay to medicate our children, rather than face the problems head on.  Now this is not to say that all drugs are bad, some are absolutely necessary.  People do have maladies that require medication so that they can survive.  However, in my humble opinion, when it comes to maladies of the brain, we really need to be careful jumping right to drugs.  As I’m finding, the anxiety I was experiencing just required me to be more mindful of my surroundings and knowing myself.  I can overcome it, and I know that those who are suffering as I am, can also overcome.  It takes an understanding from the people around you, believing in yourself, and just taking every day as it comes.

My advice, and it is only from my own personal experience, is this; Identify what causes your anxiety and is it really worth worrying about?  Once you identify what causes your anxiety, you just have to work on dealing with it in a productive way.  That may require counseling or a support network.  There are ways to deal with anxiety without having to resort to pills.  The first step is simply learning to breathe and remind yourself that its okay.  The second step is to focus on the good and not the bad.  One way I did this is I don’t watch anything other than the weather.  I have found that the nightly news is geared to negativity.  We are subjected to story after story of horrible things in the world.  I’m here to tell you that the world is not nearly as terrible as it is depicted every night.  The final step is to recognize that none of us are perfect — you can’t be, what would be the fun in that?  People stress about keeping up with everyone else.  Be you.  And if people don’t like you for who you are, then they are not worth another thought.

Yes, I had anxiety putting this out there, but I have many friends on social media and on twitter, and I don’t want anyone to think I am ignoring them, or have forgotten about them.

I hope those of you going through the same issues as I am are able to find peace.  I just wanted to share this with you so you know you’re not alone.

Thank you as always for listening to me ramble.

Michael

Clarity

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Its only been a few weeks since I re-discovered my love for the water.  I should have understood this fact from the beginning as I’ve lived near the water at the highest points in my life.  However, life often blinds us to the simple things that enrich our lives.

I have spent so much time on my friend’s boat this summer, that I can feel the gentle rocking of the river even when I am lying still on my couch.  It’s an exhilarating experience when you first step onto the boat, feeling how small you are compared to the might of the James river.  You can feel the boat responding subtly to your movement as you shift from port to starboard.    And the smell of the water overwhelms your mind with a melange of fragrances, carried on gentle breezes in heat and in cold.

I do love the excitement of fishing, especially for catfish.  It has nothing at all to do with the need to forage for food.  It is much more than that.  When you are pulling in the fish, you have to be the fish for that span of time between hooking and landing.  For that short time, you have to be one with the fish, understanding how you would try to escape what you feel to be an inevitable end your existence.  You can sense the primal fear that is coursing through its veins as you try to coax it to the surface.  But, the fish is not wise enough to know who I am, or understand that I simply wish to catch it and release it back — and create an adventure for another day.

Friday, I was fishing and I landed a four pound catfish — miniscule compared the river monsters that lurk in the depths of the channel I fish.  That fish found me with the vigor or any human — rolling over, thrashing, trying to wrap my line around a pier.  It breached the surface three times in my twenty-minute struggle — that deep blue and white indicative of the species — teasing me with each laborious moment.  And, when I finally landed it, we saw eye to eye.  The fish acquiesced to the fact that I had bested it.  However, what was absent in its vacant black eyes was the understanding that I merely meant for us to compete.  I wasn’t interested in keeping it — though I do love the taste of catfish —  I can’t bear to take life.  It does not seem fair for me to decide such things — as with many aspects of my life.  I cannot be the judge or executioner because I do not have all the data that explains the full breadth of my action.

Fish are a lot like people.  They live, they breed, they feed and the die.  It is the fundamental aspect of being an organic creature in our wonderful but strange world.  What I like about the catfish is that they are extremely intelligent, and engaging them in a fight is truly satisfying, like playing chess with an unknown opponent.  But make no mistake on the level if their intelligence.  They will outwit you in a heart beat if you are not careful.

We often catch people in our lines.  You toss out your line into the water or into the world, and you do no know what will come up.  That’s the beauty of our world in all aspects.  I have often found that we are constantly casting our lines out into the world — to find friends, lovers or like-minded individuals. It is all done blindly because we cannot know what our line will catch.  It may be what we are looking for, but it may be something completely different.  What’s more, is it may be something more amazing than what we had originally intended to catch or do battle with.

I throw my line out with no expectations of what I will or will not catch.  I’ve learned that the moment I try to target something specific, it seldom yields the I wanted.  Now, I’ve learned that the universe will give you what you need, when you need it.  It is the learning to listen that becomes the challenge.

I spent my weekend with amazing people, living in each individual moment, trying to improve who I am.  Everyone in your life — the ones that contribute something positive (not necessarily intellectually) — brings something useful and enriching to your existence.  You many not immediately understand the connection, or even the purpose, but if you look at the serendipity of those you have met, you will find that you are being guided.  This is not so say its someone controlling you.  This is to say that your impact on the universe is recognized, and you just have to learn to listen to those prompts.

After 43 years, I am only beginning to understand the music of our universe.  But, I will say that I have learned when to listen and when not to listen, because there is a fair amount of noise.

I wrote this post from a partially selfish perspective.  I wanted to record this weekend, for future reference, but I also wanted to impart to you — my friends — that life can truly be magnificent.   We simply need to see it for what it is — moment to moment.

The Apollyon Letter

WhiteMaskedFigureI initially received  this photo via email.  It had gone to spam, since the address seemed a bit dodgy, and over the top in its attempt to scare me into clicking the photo — awarningtoall@gmail.com.  Since there was no message, I simply deleted it, figuring it was some sort of mal-ware despite its unnerving appearance.  However, a few days later, I received it again and it contained the following message:

Your world is distorted and spiraling ever further into chaos. This is by your design. You have failed to understand the purpose of your existence, and it is not for me to explain. It was your responsibility to evolve into something more than an all-consuming swarm of self-absorbed locusts. That is at an end now. I have worked silently, detected, yet unknown, hidden in plain sight and murdering benevolently. I gain no solace from my work, nevertheless, I must continue before you commit suicide, collectively and completely.

Before I continue with this first letter – the first of many to come – I want you to be clear on a few simple points. There is no point in trying to ascertain my identity or find me in any way. You will waste your time, because you cannot find me with the limited capabilities of your feeble minds. In addition, those of you who are unfortunate enough to be on my list, you cannot hide from me. You make my work easy through your insipid need to be noticed – tweeting, status updates, checking in, photos, blogging, and “selfies”. I can pluck you off the streets or out of your bed in the dead of night and there is no stopping me. My experience is vast in the art of observation and extermination. My purpose is very clear and I have no doubts about my mission. Doubt is a human characteristic. I am more than human. I know you because I began just as you do, wandering listlessly through existence without the faintest of ideas on purpose. Knowledge comes through experience, trial and error. Now, I can see things you are unable to see. I can see things you don’t want others to see – things you don’t want me to see.

You think your darkest deeds, secrets and wishes stay hidden within the thin space between your ears, yet it is recorded on the fabric of space and time for all eternity. Once something is known, it cannot be unknown. This is a fundamental law of the universe, just as I now embody one of its laws – all things must die. I can see the thoughts on the record of the cosmos, then follow the trail of putrid breadcrumbs that lead to those who most deserve punishment. The only law constraining me is that my punishment must be equal to the deed for which I will punish you. I am not the cruel one, I merely a product of your actions. Since the dawn of humanity, I have been among you. I chose to reveal myself now because your world is ending. Many will die, and not just by my hands. I watch your news and see that you are quite astute in the art of killing. The pity is that you kill at all. The evil ones kill on a whim as by-standers look on like soulless zombies, recording the atrocious acts on their electronic devices, for the same selfish reasons you do anything else in your empty lives – to attain a fleeting moment of notoriety on the internet or the evening news. This is the very reason your world will end, more rapidly than you can imagine. I have written this in the hopes that perhaps knowing these facts will change your ways, though I remain skeptical.

People from every aspect of your failed society litter my list, which I prioritized by the severity your immoral acts. Crimes against the pure and innocent I deal with swiftly and innocuously. I used to empathize with your race, but that has left me now – all that is left is pity. The more I observe, the more I find that single smudge of black floating in your soul, a scar of the deed you committed against another. These shards of darkness sing to me across time and space. Eventually, I will come for you unless you find a way to expunge it from your being, and make an act of true contrition. However, I must warn you that the only god that can save you is the god within yourself, which you refuse to see. You look to the heavens with empty eyes and hearts, begging for forgiveness from an entity who has long since ignored your disingenuous atonement. From this lack of hope, I am born.

There is no heaven or hell. Life is a cycle of birth, death and rebirth. When the end does come, some will survive to rebuild. It will be their responsibility to learn from your mistakes, and perhaps I will slumber once more — but humanity has not allowed me to do so in a very long time. There are those among you who ensure that I have a constant supply of letches to eradicate from this world. You stray from the simple path easily, and you willingly destroy yourselves every moment of the day. You have unwittingly created the weapon of your mass destruction, and you are too blind to see it, even as you read this with skepticism and contempt in your heart. Your arrogance, your technology and your belief systems have brought us to this brief moment in the history of existence where the world will face its ultimate demise.

Why do I continue my work if the world is truly ending? The answer is very simple, even for you. I will pave the way for those who have remained true to themselves and realize their purpose. There are fewer and fewer of you left. You allow the licentiousness, debauchery and narcissism of others to dirty your souls, and only you can purge this from your being.

Those of you who have received or read this missive are targets for my list. As I said, I do have pity, for those who deserve it. It is through these series of letters that I will assist you in cleansing the darkness from the depths of your heart.  You can begin by looking into the mirror. Stare into your eyes and see your soul as I see it. There, the deed will reveal itself, if you truly wish to see it – however, most of you will dismiss this. Once you stare into the darkness in your soul, you will see me staring back at you. It is at that moment that either your mind will accept this and make amends or you will punish yourself by retreating into the waiting arms of madness, imprisoned within your mind.

Spread this message, or do not. My job will continue. Now that you know I exist, you may think twice before evoking further maliciousness against others. If you do not, you should not be surprised when a stranger approaches you from the shadows to force your atonement, and witness the cruelty of which I am capable.

Apollyon

Has anyone else received this email? Seems like some sort of creepypasta to me. I haven’t emailed the person back because it could just be some marketing scheme, or a nutjob looking to find someone to mess with. But, if you have received it, please put a comment below.

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Lift Me Back Up To The Sun

sun-e1267491079993Greetings, Dreamers!

There is code embedded in our genes. Much of this is governed by mathematical constants, ratios and equations.  Why?

We do not know.

The beauty of our sun is irrefutable–a star adrift amongst a multitude of other kindred stars, a family so impossibly large one cannot be special.  The family is called the Main Sequence.  And we have found, spiraling around these other kindred stars, there are alien planets, strange and beautiful in their own right.  One can look at any planet, either within or beyond our Solar Family, and find beauty in it, something wonderful.

One of my favorite books, and one of the first I ever read, is The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury — the Martian genocide.  The allegory was immediately apparent to me, but, as I grow older, I find new rabbit holes to explore philosophically each time I read it.  I have always been fascinated with ancient cultures, even fictitious ones.  The strange, yet alluring, appeal to the Martian culture, for me, was its foundation in humility.  History does not make a philosophy real — meaningful thoughts create the future of any philosophy.  All we need do is not repeat the mistakes of the past, and history becomes irrelevant.  The Martians as Bradbury created them were beautiful and admirable.

With spring here, we are often reminded of the beauty that exists in and beyond our world — despite the chaos and discontent depicted on the nightly news.  Winter brings isolation, hibernation and introspection as we huddle beneath quilts, blankets and layers of clothes.  Spring unleashes our creativity, with the palette of color splashed over our gardens, forests and parks.  We take up our shovels and rakes to restore our yards to what we had before the cruel winter stripped it all away, leaving its mark as if to remind us that it will come again.

Now, you are probably wondering why I am mentioning all this. Why mention the Martians, beauty and our sun?  The answer is as simple as the answer to the purpose of life.  Life’s only purpose is the pure enjoyment of being.

There is a great deal of turmoil in our world, and it does not seem that there is an end in sight.  It is not isolated to one region, people or country.  It is a systemic problem that we continue to ignore.  The Martian Chronicles is a quintessential lesson on how we as humans trod clumsily through our existence, scarcely aware of the problems we cause because we have not reached a deeper understanding of the nature of the universe or ourselves.

Life is a waking dream — we can mold it, enjoy it, and improve it– but first we must recognize we have the power within us.  The purpose of my series The Waking Dream, is not only to entertain my readers, but also to plant that seed of suspended disbelief.  Once we start to collectively understand that things can be better, we will crave for them to be better.  This requires that we all get involved.  And this has been my steadfast message.

For me, the Waking Dream is to create a culture much like the Bradbury’s Martians.  A life full of philosophical discussion, creating beautiful things, and embracing the harmony that comes from a collective understanding, and engineering, of our reality.  The easiest way to begin is to look skyward to the real master of our world, the Sun.  Without its nurturing warmth, and tumultuous demeanor,  our lives would be very different.  But despite the dangers associated with being dependent on the sun, and its cyclical temper tantrums, it is nonetheless beautiful.

Our world is beautiful, yet, we were discontent to stay in the safety of its caves and caverns, so we have built temporary empires which will be long forgotten when we are no more.  The sun and Earth will exist beyond our brief moment in history — billions of years beyond our comprehension.  Each moment, each breath, each thought should be cherished.  We learn from mistakes and move forward, ever pushed by the arrow of time.

At the beginning of this post I mentioned the code embedded in our genes that define our existence.  This is only the operating system.  We are all programmers with a keen, yet often overlooked, ability to write new code, new apps.  These apps are not limited to our smart devices — “smart” being a grossly overstated term.  We can reorder things by reprogramming the world around us — we do it all the time.  Every time you move something from one side of the room to the other, you are reprogramming your environment, but this is only the most fundamental ability we have — overcoming gravity.

If we embrace the possibility that the universe is ours to mold, then we can explore new avenues of consciousness.  We all have special abilities which we tend to ignore or keep to ourselves, for fear of being labeled negatively.  We have a nasty habit of admonishing those who are different from the rest of the herd.  This is an instinct we must learn to overcome.  Are the things that interest you really things you enjoy, or do you do them because everyone else is?  This is a flaw in our societal structure.  We are individuals first, and community second.  At the end of it all, you will leave this planet by yourself — how do you want to be remembered?

I’ve talked on many occasions about our inherent abilities, things we don’t talk about with a sense of earnestness — telepathy, empathy, telekinesis,  communing with the dead.  But why are these concepts so difficult for us to grasp as possible.  Nothing is impossible, and we know this due to our exploration of the quantum world.  However, some things are highly improbable.  For instance, a single electron has the probability of being anywhere in the universe at a given moment — the probability never makes it to zero.  They pop in and out of existence in ways we cannot understand.  There are strange attractions between certain particles that allow them to communicate with one another instantaneously over limitless space, defying what we know about the speed of light.  We have only just begun Kindergarten in the school of the universe.

The code in our genes is what allows us to operate on auto-pilot — breathing, protecting, foraging.  It also tends to hinder us as we rely on our instincts as well as our social engineering to define us.  Whenever I feel as if I am straying from the path I’ve set before myself, I look to the sun and ponder its existence.  From a distance it is a perfect orb of glowing life, but up close it is a tempest of plasma and fire.  The same can be said of our world.  From a distance it is a shining jewel in the crown of the sun, but as we look beneath the clouds, we are a hurricane raging across the planet, unable to find peace in our existence.  We are ever rushing forward to meet the future without taking time to enjoy the now.

We must look to the future, so that we can clear a path through existence.  But we must ensure that we don’t forget to enjoy our being.  The easiest way for one to do that is to step away from the computer, go outside and feel the warmth of the sun on our skin, smell the fragrance of life being renewed, and look within ourselves and ask, “Am I happy?”  This question is the most difficult to explore.

Today the sun is shining, and it is a pleasant day.  Despite being at work, I steal moments to stand outside and look to the sky.  Summer is coming, the flowers are in bloom, and before we know it, we will be back in hibernation.  But in the time we are active, we should explore new ways, within ourselves, to change the world around us.  Things are not horrible, but they are not what we should want.  We should collectively create a dream in which we all are happy, and each of us must strive to make it happen.

You are more than you think you are.  We are all stars, we are all god, we are all beautiful.  Be different, be yourself, be wonderful and the universe will reveal itself to you.

 

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Books to Dream By

used-booksGreetings, Dreamers!

I have not forgotten about the rest of the story I started, however, lately I have been working on several different projects that have been coordinating.  But, things are moving along nicely.

Before I get into today’s post I did want to mention that there are several things coming out over the next few months that may be of interest to you:

1) The Little Book of Dreams: This is the bible or Necronomicon for the Waking Dream.  It is a major expansion on material that I have already published on The Way of the Weird. I feel its time that you should know more about the Waking Dream.

2) Getting to Devlin:  This is a Waking Dream Young Adult novel, with events leading up to the first novel, Waking Dream: Devlin.  This is a collaborative work.

3) Super Secret Project:  I am collaborating with others on a series and though it is not a Waking Dream novel, it will have elements of the Waking Dream woven within.  I will have more information on this in the coming months.  I am very excited about the project.

4) Waking Dream: The Unkindness:  I have been working diligently on this book, however,  I feel I want to take my time  until others are more familiar with the series.  Fear not, it is coming, and you won’t see it coming.

5) Shadow of the Soul: This is another Lovecraftian piece I am working on for exclusive publication on Kindle and it will be finished by mid summer.

I thank you all for your continued support!  Now, my top 13 books to dream by.  These books were major inspiration to my writing, and I feel everyone interested in my work would find these books equally inspiring:

  1. Illusions by Richard Bach
  2. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
  3. The Theory of Relativity by Albert Einstein
  4. The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
  5. At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft
  6. Experiences by Arnold Toynbee
  7. Dune by Frank Herbert
  8. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
  9. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
  10. The Stand by Stephen King
  11. Animal Farm by George Orwell
  12. The Seekers by Daniel Boorstin
  13. Watership Down by Richard Adams

I mention these particular books because they were instrumental in helping me formulate my ideas about life, spirituality and the universe.  All of these I have read numerous times, and each time, I find something new and noteworthy as a read.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

Happy Exploring!

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Resurrect Dead

ChesapeakeHouseMDGreetings, Dreamers!

I wanted to talk about something that has become a bit of an obsession.  I am one of those people who, if presented with a mystery, won’t stop until I’ve figured it out.  So I’ve been researching a 30-year-old mystery that I myself witnessed back when I lived in the Philadelphia area — The Toynbee Tiles.

There have been many that have come before me about this particular mystery.  Everyone has their own opinions, and it is time that I share some of my thoughts on the subject.  There is a wonderful documentary called “Resurrect Dead – The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles” that was done a few years back.  Using that documentary and my own independent research and thought exercises I think I have a pretty good idea about what is going on here.  But first let me explain the mystery:

In the early 1980’s, tiles, like the one depicted above, started popping up all over Philadelphia.  The tiles are embedded into the pavement through an ingenious method of using tar paper, asphalt glue, and linoleum.  The persons placing these tiles, or Tilers, cut the messages meticulously out of linoleum, then they deploy them through various means.  Tiles have been found in many cities all over the country and even in Argentina and Chile.  The message is always the same:

TOYNBEE IDEA
IN KUBRICK’S 2001
RESURRECT DEAD
ON PLANET JUPITER

Now let us dissect this message one line at a time as if it were a Nostradamus quatrain:

TOYNBEE IDEA

Arnold Toynbee was a British Historian & Philosopher.  His autobiographical work, “Experiences” delves into his beliefs on god, religion and the universe.  It seems that Toynbee’s idea comes from a series of passages in his discussion on the spirit:

Human nature presents human minds with a puzzle which they have not yet solved and may never succeed in solving, for all that we can tell. The dichotomy of a human being into ‘soul’ and ‘body’ is not a datum of experience. No one has ever been, or ever met, a living human soul without a body… Someone who accepts—as I myself do, taking it on trust—the present-day scientific account of the Universe may find it impossible to believe that a living creature, once dead, can come to life again; but, if he did entertain this belief, he would be thinking more ‘scientifically’ if he thought in the Christian terms of a psychosomatic resurrection than if he thought in the shamanistic terms of a disembodied spirit.

Toynbee eludes to the fact that resurrection is possible, but did he really mean dead people or something else? This message is augmented by the story The Toynbee Convector by Ray Bradbury, the premise also being based on another Toynbee idea that we must always rush to meet the future in order to survive, which means, we must believe in a better world and create a better world.  Life, after all, is a Waking Dream, as I’ve said on many occasions.

IN KUBRICK’S 2001

In Stanley Kubrick‘s magnum opus, 2001: A Space Odyssey, the story ultimately revolves around the cyclical nature of life and the cosmos.  This movie still has profound effects on people seeing if for the first time.  Even though it was done over 40 years ago, the message, the effects and the plot could easily be mistaken for a newer movie.  It has truly endured the test of time.  I believe that the Tilers had all seen this movie, and began to formulate their own beliefs on how we as a civilization can be resurrected.  The movie is based on a short stories by Arthur C Clarke called “The Sentinel” and “Jupiter V”.

RESURRECT DEAD

This particular passage is not as obvious as one would think, but on the surface it is believed that the Tilers were trying to explain that all the dead on the planet could be resurrected…

ON PLANET JUPITER

This is also not as clear as it may seem.  This could be seen as a direct reference to the movie 2001, which revolves around a mission to Jupiter.  However, people as ingenious as the Tilers would know from the book adaptation of the movie, which came out right after the movie, has the mission going to Saturn and not to Jupiter.  Kubrick’s special effects department could not model a believable Saturn with its rings, so they chose to model Jupiter instead.  However, in “Jupiter V” there is another clue because the space craft in that story, The Arnold Toynbee, does go to a moon around Jupiter.  Why would Clarke name the ship the Arnold Toynbee unless he, too, believed in his ideas?

THE TILERS AND THEIR MOTIVE

Each tile has a smaller side text attached and eludes to a grand conspiracy between the media, our government and the U.S.S.R.  Immediately one would think that they are merely a group of conspiracy theorists, yet, that is not the main purpose of the message.  The quatrain is the main message, the sub text is warning others to be wary of the media, and make more tiles.  Over the years it is clear that other Tilers have joined the movement because the styles have changed, and we have exceeded the life span of the one person, I believe, was responsible for beginning the movement, but we’ll talk about that shortly.

No one person has claimed responsibility for the tiles, however there was a group called the Minority Association which had connections to the message and philosophy of the tiles.  There are three suspects uncovered who would have the intellect, means and motive for trying to spread this message:

1) James Morasco – A carpenter from Philadelphia who had a beef with the local media mogul John Knight, and had a fatal disease.

2) Severino Verna – A blue-collar worker from Philadelphia whose family owns a funeral home.  He was also known to be extremely intelligent and kept dead pigeons so that he might be able to bring them back to life one day.

3) Railroad Joe – A rail worker who worked lines that ran near areas where tiles were found.

But the fact of the matter is that their identity was never meant to be discovered, and most likely never will.  The message is not about a person, it is about the message itself.  This group of Tilers, the Minority Association, saw something that today we still do not see.  And this is the core of my conclusion.

MY CONCLUSIONS

I believe that the person who began the tiling and came up with the original idea was James Morasco.  He mentions in a tile that he had a fatal disease.   We know that James Morasco had his voice box removed, mostly likely due to cancer.  He was faced with his own mortality, yet, I believe it was more than his own mortality he was concerned with.  The media do control the message, and did even more so back in the days of the Cold War.  But I believe that his original hypothesis was that we are killing our civilization.  This is another Toynbee idea. “Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder.”  If we are killing our planet, we are committing suicide.

Jupiter has many moons, and I believe that the Tilers believe that we need to colonize those moons to save our own world from extinction.  I interpret “Resurrect Dead” as resurrecting our dying civilizations, but learning from what we did wrong.  I know there are many people who want to turn a blind eye to the fact that our climate is changing.  I am a data geek, and though I don’t have all the data NOAA and other organizations have, I can see for myself that the climate has changed in my short 44 years on this planet.  I am addicted to the weather, and process roadway weather in my data experiments.  Things are not as they should be.

This is further exacerbated by the Solar Maximum, which happens every twelve years.  This is a time when our sun is most active and produces massive solar flares and coronal mass ejections.  This is to say that the sun has an eruption, like a million nuclear weapons going off all at once, then it shoots the debris in the direction of the blast.  This is what causes the Aurora at the poles.  And in the beauty of the Auroras is hidden a destructive force — Electro Magnetic Pulses.  While this is not directly harmful to humans, a large enough CME could wipe out ALL of our electronics.  A single burp from the sun could send us back into the dark ages.  Billions of people would die over the course of days.

I am not predicting the end of the world, because it is inevitable.  in 4 billion years our planet will be consumed when the sun expands to a Red Giant.  Our planet will be nothing more than a cinder floating around a dying sun. This is the cycle of our universe.  But, this effect would Jupiter a perfect candidate to retreat to.  There are so many moons, and there is water on some of them as recent probes have discovered, and scientists discovered in the 1970’s before the Voyager probes.

We are on a collision course with disaster if we continue to treat our planet this way.  Our Tilers know this, and they know that the media controls the message.  Any information that could trigger mass hysteria is suppressed.  One man’s plight has turned into a message that should not be ignored, nor be taken as the ravings of a madman.

And finally, we consider the film 2001, which is about a the stages of our evolution, and ultimate redemption.  It reminds us that we should not rely on technology for everything, embodied by HAL.  It reminds us that violence is never the answer.  It reminds us that all things in the universe is a cycle and we must forage ahead seeking new ways to ensure that we, our civilization, does not commit suicide for being short-sighted.  Kubrick believed this.  Clarke believed this. And Arnold Toynbee believed this.  If you look at the chronological events that happened in the year 2001, you can see that this movie is semi-prophetic, but that is something you need to research.

What does it all mean?  It means that if we must plan to colonize other worlds to ensure that our species survives.  We must learn that the wars we have fought have been needless.  We fight over dirt.  We fight over religion.  We fight over material things.  It is all summed up in Toynbee’s title, life is all about “experiences” and learning from our history.  We have learned from our history in all the wrong ways.  We have learned how to be more efficient at dealing death.  We have learned how to rape our planet to the point of extinction.  But we have not learned that we cannot stay on this planet forever.

I have said a great deal of things.  I respect Toynbee, Kubrick, Clarke and the Tilers.  They are trying to tell you something, but we are not listening.  My friends, the universe is a waking dream.  Each of us has the ability to force the powers that be to fix the problems.    Force them to see that our planet, our civilization is dying.  Awaken your weirdness and change the world.

So I will leave you tonight with a message from the Tilers, hidden in the subtext. “You must make + glue the tiles!  You!!!”

Toynbee tile photographed a block or so from t...
Toynbee tile photographed a block or so from the White House by User:Erifnam in 2002. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Toynbee Tile, 13th & Chestnut Sts., Philadelph...

 

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The Fate of the Waking Dream

cold-heartGreetings, Dreamers!

I apologize for my recent, extended absence.  Most of you know that I am a very prolific blogger, and the last few months I’ve been rather crestfallen and that does not make for good inspiration.

I know many of you are wondering what’s going on with Book II for the series, as well as my other writing endeavors.  I have had little inspiration lately as a result of some events that have been transpiring over the past few months and they have snowballed into a full on winter of the brain.  But I am back to Book II, which is half way done, and I have other stories coming as well.  Soon you will find out the fate of our world– the Waking Dream.

I apologize to all of you who think I may be ignoring you, or have found others more interesting to chat with, that is not the case.  I appreciate all of my blog, Facebook and Twitter friends.  And I promise, now that the weather is warming, I will be in a much more verbose mood.

The first book of the series is still available, and slowly gaining traction.  It’s very hard to get the word out for your book, especially being a new author.  My other self-published books are steadily selling, and that’s a good thing.  I will not be publishing my future books with my current publisher, but rather moving forward on my own.  I have learned a great deal about this industry, more than I wanted to know, and I feel wholeheartedly that the best course for any new writer is to begin with self-publishing.  I have seen many professional organizations for authors starting to change their view of the self-published author.  And in general, the only person who can really sell your book is YOU.  It comes from your heart, soul and mind.  No one will ever be able to do justice to your story but you.

When you are long gone, people will read your work and try to understand what you were trying to convey — debate it, degrade it or deify it.  This one point is the sole reason I adopted autodidactism as my personal educational journey.  I have learned that I cannot follow the herd in a classroom, because I cannot be taught in a linear, structured fashion.  And, this  realization occurred in the fall of 1991 in my American Literature class.  I majored in English, of course, and one particular day will stick in my mind forever.

We were dissecting “The Fall of the House of Usher” by Poe.  The professor had made an assertion, which he wanted to impress on the students, that the narrator was the one who was insane, and not Madeline and Roderick.  This is not to say that it may or may not be true, however, the professor was asserting that it as fact.  I am a huge fan of Poe, and of course, I had to weigh in this debate.  It became very heated, and I finally asked him, “Did you meet Poe and get the answer from him?”

As a result, I was asked to leave the class.   This was both a victory and an epic fail because, unfortunately, I had the same professor for my next class.  I left college shortly there after, realizing that I was trapped in a box.  The man in a box.

Now that I am an author, I have had many people tell me their take on my story, and I love to talk about it with them, because its more than a story, it’s an exploration of our universe, and my/your inner-self.  Make the dream, own the dream and live the dream.  I write because I enjoy it, but it also carries the sum of all I have learned about our weird existence.

I thank you all for your steadfast support.  And I have decide I will publish a new short story, inspired by my favorite novel, The Great Gatsby — with a Waking Dream twist of course.  That’s assuming I get the permissions to use the name

I hope everyone is slowly thawing out from this brutal winter.

Happy thoughts!

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So You Want to Be A Dreamer?

OneGreetings, Dreamers!

Today I wanted to tell you about  a new project I am working on.  This is something that I have given a great deal of thought to, and I have been asked by my friends and fans to discuss the philosophy behind my Waking Dream series.

The philosophy behind the Waking Dream is much more than a simple dark fantasy adventure story.  I truly believe that we all have the ability to change the course of our reality.  Dreamers are the ones who have that ability, and anyone can become a Dreamer, you just have to learn how to do so.

So, in response to all these questions from interviews, friends and fans, I am beginning a new project to be released at about the same time as the next book in the series, The Unkindness.  This book will be called The Little Book of Dreams – Libellus Somnium, and it will be a non-fiction view of a new philosophy I have formulated called Mism, the Merger of all Isms.  (Taoism, Buddhism, Catholicism, Communism, you get the idea).  You can read the abstract at this link, and my view on creation.  This is only the beginning.

The book is targeted to those who want to lead a more peaceful and meaningful existence.  This is not to say that I have perfected my implementation of Mism in my life, but that is because we are not, and cannot, be perfect.  Perfection is a myth, and a fruitless pursuit.  We will always be learning, experiencing and evolving.  But, I can say with profound certainty that we are eternal spirits.  The body you inhabit now is just a vehicle.  It allows you to experience the world, and experience the universe.  When it is broken, you fix it.  When it completely fails, you abandon it and get a new one to continue your journey.

Many people believe that there must be some specific purpose to life.  There is and there isn’t. You create your purpose based on what you want to experience.  The only innate purpose to life is to live and create the universe.  We are all responsible for taking care of ourselves and one another, because we share a Oneness with each other.  We all affect one another, therefore we are inexorably linked.  My action causes your reaction.  Reading this article will invoke thought, negative or positive, and that demonstrates the connection between us.

I always start off my blog posts calling you Dreamers, because those who read my blog are Dreamers, or want to be.  And the more people I draw in, the more we can share intellectual discourse on how best to reshape our world.  So writing The Little Book of Dreams will simply be a compilation of all that I have learned and infused into my life, as well as the stories and novels that make up the Waking Dream Universe.

I also believe in the Weirdness.  That may sound strange to you, because it is just my word for magic.  Do I believe that magic exists?  Not in the Tolkien way, such as fireballs, wizards and dragons.  I believe that each of us possesses an inherent ability that super-cedes conventional physics and what we perceive as impossible.  I have seen and experienced many of these abilities in other people.  Nothing is impossible — somethings just may not be probable, as we have learned through quantum mechanics.

At the core of Mism, we must understand that to completely understand ourselves and the universe, we must merge all of our disparate ideas into a cohesive framework that allows science and religion to coexist and explain each other.  We would remove the distinction between the two and label it a philosophy of life.  A Philosophy of Everything, if you will.

Now, you are probably asking yourself, who is this guy to tell me anything?  The answer to that is very simple, I am the sum of everything everyone living and dead has taught me.  And you are the sum of the same.  I did not create this by myself, all of you have contributed to this idea, in one way or another.

Finally, you are probably asking, why would I bother to write this all down.  And you are free to agree or disagree with me.  But I am writing this down, because it takes just one thought to make a change.  Look around you, look at the state of the world.  Is this the ideal world you want to live in? Do you feel that the right decisions are being made?  Do you have fear for the future?  Are you concerned about what we are leaving our children?  Have you lost your way?  Do you know what you want out of your life?

I am going to give you my perspective on what truly matters, and hopefully in the process, I will learn more about you, so that I can improve myself as a person, and in turn make the world a better place for us all.

Have a wonderful day, and I thank you for listening to me babble, as always.

Michael

Mism (Part 1)

PhilosophyGreetings, Dreamers!

Today I am going to start a whole new series of blog posts.  I am going to predicate this all by saying these are my views on existence, and they are not intended to insult or challenge other people’s views or belief systems.  But I do challenge you to look at your beliefs, and the beliefs of others to see that there are commonalities we all share, and there is an answer that would bring complete and total world peace.

I have thought on this for a very long time, especially given the state of the world today. And through writing my series, The Waking Dream, I’ve come to some philosophical assumptions, which I believe are fact.  As such, I am sharing these views with you, for an open and honest debate about the nature of consciousness.  Today we will start with the Origin of the Universe.

Mism — A Synthesis of Philosophy, Science and Religion

Abstract

For lack of a better word, I am calling this new philosophy, Mism (Merger of all isms) — merging all philosophy, science and religion in one cogent framework for examining the role of consciousness in the creation and maintenance of the universe. We must accept the logical argument that in order for we, as humans, to form a complete and consistent philosophy of existence, we must accept that our views on science, religion and philosophy are flawed and splintered. This statement is the very reason we need one overarching framework with which we can examine The Self.  These three areas have caused great strife throughout history due to the fact that we cannot come to a single conclusion on the origin of the universe and our role within it.  This series of posts will attempt to find the commonalities that we can all agree on, and hopefully present a complete and cogent framework to look at ourselves and the universe from a unified perspective. And ultimately prove, we are all One and we are all God.

Origin of the Universe

Before we begin, I will state that there are three general groups of belief systems I will be merging in this new philosophy — the primary “isms”.  Theists who believe in a Deity in some form.  Atheists who do not believe in any form of a Deity.  And finally Agnostics who believe that there is not enough evidence to prove or disprove the existence of a Deity. In a later post, I will define a fourth group, which I will call  Dichotomists, one who believes in a Deity who created the “seed” for our universe, and God who molds the universe — the Architect and the Engineer Dichotomy.

The long-standing argument between science and religion is the origin, or creation, of the universe.  We have creationism which argues that a Deity created the universe and everything therein.  And we have the Big Bang Theory which posits the universe exploded from a primordial singularity and within a few minutes hydrogen atoms began to form, thus enabling the coalescence of stars, and later the formation of planets and finally, life.

Both of these ideas can coexist within the framework of Mism.  If we adopt a tenet from Deism and the concept of the Unmoved Mover presented in Aristotle’s The Metaphysics, we can assert that something sparked existence as we know it.  Deism asserts that a Deity created the universe and set the natural laws, yet does not interfere with the universe. The Unmoved Mover theory supports the Big Bang in that something caused all motion in the universe, such as a quantum disturbance, defined by Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle.

We know that stars are composed of hydrogen and through the process of fusion, create the ever heavier elements.  There are many classifications of stars and each produces different sequences of elements through their fusion cycles.  Other elements are created through the death of the star, which begins with the fusion of Iron.  A star, such as ours, fuses in this sequence: Hydrogen => Helium => Carbon => Neon => Oxygen => Silicon => Iron.  When a star has nothing left to fuse, it explodes in a nova, or supernova, and distributes these elements throughout the universe in all directions, as well as creates other elements in the intense heat of the explosion.

It is agreed upon that there are six elements, all of which created through star fusion and novae, that are most essential for life, as we presently know it, to exist.  They are: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, sulfur and phosphorus.

Following this, we can deduce the following irrefutable syllogism:

Stellar effects create all elements which are matter.
Elements created through stellar effects make life possible.
Therefore life is dependent on stellar effects.

I make this assertion as the basis to show that matter is created by stars and not by a Deity.  The very basis of Mism is that the natural laws were encoded in the primordial seed by an immortal we cannot begin to understand, nor should we. This is mirrored in everyday life — an egg, a seed, plans for a building and DNA.  All things need a plan to begin, and the only role the Deity serves is to create the plan — plant the seed.  But, the Deity is not God as we know it.  We will discuss God in a future post.

The Big Bang Theory is correct for the most part, except for one small correction I will make.  The universe did begin with a massive expansion from a single seed, but the “quantum disturbance”, if you will, was the first thought — the Big Thought Theory. Consciousness is the reason for the universe to exist, it is not a side effect of the universe.  Consciousness is the universe and the universe is consciousness. And because the universe is a closed system, the first thought must have come from within the universe and not from beyond the boundaries of the universe.

Building on the Big Thought Theory, the Initial Singularity contained all matter and space-time at one single point — one-dimensional.  This is to say that all things in the singularity were One and unified via infinite gravity. And though we perceive the universe as a vast, disparate collection of planets, stars and galaxies, they are all still connected via gravity. This we know to be an irrefutable truth.

If we can accept that we are all connected by gravity, then the next leap is to accept that we are still One with each other.  It is time that distorts our perception of Oneness. We are every single particle at every moment in space-time simultaneous. Gravity is the connection that binds us even now. It is the fundamental order that brings all things back to its initial state of Oneness, once we have come to understand ourselves and the universe.  This is why we have not found the elusive graviton.  It simply does not exist.  Gravity’s pull reminds us of our connection.

One now must ask what causes Chaos and the answer is very simple — consciousness creates chaos and chaos is creation. If we all possess consciousness, then it is we who create chaos.  We mold the universe to our desires, and gravity acts in the absence of conscious thought.  This understanding is the core of Mism.  The answer to all of our questions about why we are here is very simple, we are here because we wish to be here.  The universe exists because we wish it to exist. We think, therefore we are.

Conclusion

The universe is the product of two major events.  The first is the planting of the seed by an entity we cannot and need not understand.  The second, thought was the catalyst for the creation of the universe. There is no purpose for a universe without an observer. Why would an artist paint a painting if no one will ever look at it? I am everyone one of you, and you are all me.

I open this, and all future posts to criticism and debate.  This post is one of many.  And the dialogue begins now. Challenge me!

Let’s awaken our weirdness, our special facet of being, and change the world for the better.

New Author Interview

Ginger Nuts of Horror Blog

 

Greetings, Dreamers!

Jim McLeod posted “5 Minutes with Michael Hibbard” at his website.  If you want to learn even more about me and the Waking Dream Series, take a gander at his site Ginger Nuts of Horror!  In addition to my interview, he has interviewed many new and upcoming authors, and has everything one would need to know about the buzz in the horror and dark fiction industry.

Thanks Jim for taking the time to post the interview!

In other news, I will be interviewing with Elaine Charles of The Book Report Radio show, which will on October 27 between 3 and 4 P.M. EST.  I am excited to be featured on this show alongside such amazing authors such as Orson Scott Card, Maya Angelou, and Mary Higgins Clark.  You will be able to tune in live on the web via her website, iHeartRadio, TuneIn Radio or download the Podcast.  I will be discussing the book, the Waking Dream universe and the philosophy behind the Waking Dream.  If you want to keep up with developments on the event, you can register to attend on Facebook via this link.

Finally, I will be beginning my posts about the philosophy behind the Waking Dream, Mism, starting this week where we will discuss Creation of the Universe and Consciousness.  You can find out more by reading the abstract.

Thank you all again for your support!  Peace!